Do you know that the negative perception that a person has of himself and of the ability to give himself a better future can become a major obstacle capable of destroying all the efforts he undertakes to improve the quality of his life?
Many people have a habit of belittling themselves, saying always bad things about themselves: I’m good for nothing, It’s no use trying, I won’t make it, I can’t do anything, it has always been like this, the situation will not change, I can only suffer, I am not beautiful, everyone is angry with me, etc. You say things like that to yourself, don’t you? Anyway, it happens to me sometimes. This negative perception of ourselves is the fruit of ideas that have sometimes been suggested to us by those who want to see us continue to get along or fail, or even the re-memorization of negative experiences from the past that we do not want to let go of, or a glaring lack of self-confidence. In any case, the object of this narrative is us and it is built on fear and lack of self-confidence.
Developing a negative narrative about oneself is destructive. It is almost impossible for a person who always perceives himself/herself as a loser to cheerfully take the path that leads to the realization of his dreams. “Achieving your dreams, says Vincent Caltabellotto, requires audacity, real confidence in your project, your future, and your teams. But above all, confidence in yourself and in the values, you hold deep in your heart.”
A person who, all day long, rehashes negative and degrading speeches about himself to explain or justify why he cannot succeed in what he undertakes, why he is not good at this or that other thing, why she hates those who succeed and achieve great things in their lives, is a person whose results will always be below their expectations. Results are never wrong though often, we have been conditioned to lie to ourselves, not to have an honest look at our results (Bob Proctor).
Do we ever wonder if our current life is really the one, we always dreamed of or if it is right in the trajectory that leads us there? I bet that is a question very few people ask. Because it assumes that we have an honest look at our results.
If we had an honest look at our results, we would certainly realize that the life we are currently in is not really the one we would have wanted. Sometimes we are not proud of ourselves, of our results but we refuse to admit it. Is it because change scares us or because we indulge in our comfort zone? Because this negative perception of ourselves and the narrative that underlies it clearly prove that there is a deep malaise within us.
This narrative that we have built about ourselves conveys our values, our beliefs, and our fears. If a person does not believe that he has the right to a happy and harmonious life, to good health, to be surrounded by good people and the things that life provides, how can he seek to obtain them? If you constantly live in fear and denial, how will you develop self-confidence or the desire to give yourself a better future? Desire is the basis of our motivation. It leads us to consider solutions to achieve a certain satisfaction (Vincent Caltabellotto).
Therefore, it is important to change the narrative we have about ourselves if we want to move towards progress. Each time we set goals, we must also make sure to develop a narrative that goes in the direction of strengthening the positive perception of ourselves and therefore, our self-confidence. If we change our narrative, there is a good chance that our current situation will also improve. But this assumes that we first have a clear idea of what we want to create a narrative capable of supporting our efforts towards achieving our objectives.
In life, there are only two postures: either you go forward, or you go backward. Whoever for one reason or another does not advance, retreats. If in five years you would like to live a better life than your current life, why not start by changing your state of mind, your way of thinking; build a positive narrative about yourself; change our habits; gather new ideas and new information about your projects; learn new skills, etc. Do things today that will make you more valuable tomorrow. So, let us stop belittling ourselves because we are better than we think.
Coach Jacques Mutikwele
www.jacquesmutikwele.com
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